We’ve all been there as parents. Exhausted, burnt out, just-plain-old done. We’re tired – physically, emotionally, spiritually.
Juggling work, kids, chores, family, volunteering, car repairs, bills, appointments, and faith can be exhausting. And just when you think you can’t possibly do one more thing today – your child asks, “What’s for dinner?!”
When You Feel Like You Have Nothing Left to Give
I recall a recent week when my husband was traveling for work, leaving me to solo-parent for 5 days. During this already trying week, we were at the doctor's nearly every day for a different family member.
One child had pink eye, one child was diagnosed with eczema, one child was very constipated, and then I got a mysterious infection on my hand! It felt like we were under attack.
That week was not our best. We skipped taekwondo lessons, we ate a lot of chicken nuggets, and watched too many hours of TV. By the end of the week, we survived, but I was drained and burned out.
Parenting, especially as Christians, is an enormous role. It wears on your body, soul, and spirit. We know how important the gift of parenting is, and how incredibly difficult it can be.
Why Christian Parents Burn Out
Parenting in today’s world is tough. There are so many reasons we experience parenting burnout:
- We face constant demands and don’t get proper rest for our souls.
- We feel the need to protect our children from everything; sometimes, this leads us to try to control everything around us.
- Anxiety and depression are at all-time highs in our society; we are afraid and wary more often than not.
- We believe the lie that we have to “do it all” and ensure our children have a perfect childhood.
Come to Jesus When You’re Worn Out
God doesn’t want us to live life as exhausted parents. He sent His Son to earth to deliver us from this sinful world. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus said:
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (emphasis added)
We don’t need to parent alone. We have a heavenly Father waiting to help us. All we have to do is go to Him.
Spiritual Tools for Exhausted Parents
Here are some spiritual tools that can help you when you’re experiencing parenting burnout:
1. Simple Breath Prayers for Hard Moments
Anytime: (inhale) Thank you, Jesus / (exhale) For your love
During chores: (inhale) Help me, God / (exhale) Give me strength
During bedtime: (inhale) My soul finds rest / (exhale) In God alone
During frustrations/meltdowns: (inhale) Holy Spirit / (exhale) Guide my words
2. Scripture to Pray When You're Running on Empty
Pray these verses out loud when you’re an exhausted parent, feeling that parenting burnout, and need God’s presence:
- Psalm 34:6 “This poor man cried out, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.” (emphasis added)
- Psalm 121:1-2 “I will lift up my eyes to the hills—from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” (emphasis added)
- 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (emphasis added)
- Matthew 6:30 “Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?” (emphasis added)
3. Inviting God into the Chaos of Everyday Routines
Find ways to bring God into every moment of your day by using these spiritual tools. Here are a few ideas of how to center your everyday life around Christ:
- Begin the day by reading a Bible verse aloud at breakfast
- Turn on upbeat worship music during chores
- Pray for the family member whose clothes you are washing/putting away
- Don’t miss a God moment – take opportunities to connect spiritual truths to everyday life
- Pray during your bedtime routine with your kids
4. Leaning on Your Church and Community
We simply weren’t made to do this life, or parenting, alone. It is normal to need help! Whether that is from your pastor, a mentor, or your small group peers, a healthy body of Christians is there to support you. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice, guidance, and prayers when parenting gets tough.
Proverbs 11:14 teaches us “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”
Soul Care That Fuels Your Parenting
Often, people turn to “self-care” to cure their parenting burnout. They hope that this [massage, date night, guys’/girls’ weekend, shopping trip, fill-in-the-blank] will fill up their metaphorical tank.
While there is a place for fun activities, they aren’t necessarily what you need in moments of parenting burnout. Instead of self-care, you likely need soul care – time to tend to your own walk with Jesus and ensure your soul is spiritually well.
The difference between self-care (which can turn into a selfish escape) and soul-care is big. Here are a few spiritual tools you can use to take care of your soul and avoid parenting burnout:
- Practice the Sabbath – Ensure one entire day each week is set aside only for rest and worship.
- Read God’s Word – Spend time in the Bible daily.
Pray Without Ceasing – Pray during daily tasks, while you’re driving, when you’re grocery shopping, anytime at all. - Be in Community – Spend intentional time with other Christians who will support you and help you grow in your walk with Christ.
When You Feel Like You're Failing
It’s easy to feel like you’re doing it all wrong. When you scroll social media, look around at school, or compare to your friends, it’s common to feel like everyone else has it figured out.
The truth is, no parent is perfect. We all make mistakes and we all have shortcomings. Comparing to other families isn’t helpful when everyone’s situations are unique. Family dynamics, jobs, blended homes, medical or mental health conditions, and financial situations all look different in every family.
God’s grace is completely sufficient to cover our parenting mistakes. He provides all the spiritual tools we need as parents.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 assures us, “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’”
If you feel shame about something in your parenting journey, that feeling is not from God. God will certainly convict you of sin in your life, but He will not make you feel that you are unworthy and inadequate to be a parent. God has gifted you with your children for a purpose, and He will equip you to parent well if you ask Him to.
James 1:5 promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
Prayers for Exhausted Parents
- For every day:
“Dear Lord, guide my steps today. Give me the strength to parent well. Let the Holy Spirit inhabit my words and actions. Thank you for the gift of my child(ren). Cover my missteps and mistakes with your unending grace and mercy. Amen.”
- For when we mess up:
“Dear Lord, I confess my sin of _______. I messed up with my child(ren) today and I need your forgiveness and mercy. Give me the humility to apologize to my child(ren) and seek their forgiveness also. Help me to repent of this sin and be more like You by Your power. Thank you for your grace. Amen.”
- For when we have nothing left to give:
“Dear Lord, I’m empty today. My spirit is weary and my heart is heavy. I don’t have any more to give, but my children still need me. Please give me rest and supernatural comfort. Give me peace and patience, gentleness and kindness, and help me make it through this season. I can only do this with Your help, Lord. Please meet me here and guide me through. Amen.”
- For our children:
“Dear Lord, please protect ________ today. Wrap your loving arms around them and keep them near to you. Keep them safe and healthy, and lead them to You always. Thank you for giving me this child and allowing me to parent them. You are so good! Amen.”
Takeaway
If you are looking for help in your parenting journey, don’t go through it alone. Consider joining a Castles Family Discipleship group to learn what the Bible says about families. You will gain spiritual tools and action steps to equip you on your parenting journey, and you will meet other parents who can encourage you along the way.
Remember, the Lord sees you, loves you, and is fighting for you. If you are experiencing parenting burnout, He will carry you through.