“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” – Matthew 5:9
In Matthew 5 we read the first section of Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes. This list of blessings shows what people will gain, experience, or receive, but verse 9 is the only blessing that has an identity attached: “They shall be called sons of God.”
That is an extremely high reward. Being identified as a child of God is high praise. Why is being a peacemaker what will identify you with being a child of God? Why is it not “blessed are the joyful…” or “truthful,” or “loving?” Each of those things are listed as part of the fruit of the Spirit along with peace in Galatians 5:22-23, so there must be something special about being a peacemaker that Jesus wants us to understand here.
How Do You Handle Conflict?
Conflict: a word we don’t even like to think or say, let alone experience. Conflict is not a bad thing! Conflict can actually deepen your relational intimacy with others if it is handled biblically.
Conflict is a natural part of life. Differing opinions, misunderstandings, and unclear communication can create tension in relationships. But conflict isn’t an enemy; conflict is an opportunity. While not easy, if we handle conflict with the heart of a peacemaker, we can use the opportunity to gain understanding and grow closer in our relationships instead of farther away.
Unfortunately, many times, our default response when disagreements or differing views pop up can increase an issue and cause hurt and harm. Instead of working towards peace, we often whine about the issue and exacerbate the problem. Here are some common default ways of dealing with conflict:
- Withdraw: Instead of facing a disagreement head-on, do you cut yourself off and avoid engaging or addressing the conflict? While that may remove you from the heat for a moment, it does not make peace, as you never give an opportunity for resolution.
- Hold it all in: When facing a fight or difference of opinion, sometimes it feels safest to bottle up all your emotions. You wall yourself off so the pain can’t touch you. Instead of discussing the issue, you keep your emotions inside, and they build until they eventually explode.
- Invalidate: When your default position of dealing with conflict is invalidating, you explain away, gaslight, or cut others down when they try to own their part or explain their point of view.
- Negatively interpret: To avoid working towards peace, you find excuses for why it isn’t possible. You negatively interpret another person’s body language, tone, motives, etc.
- Escalate: When a disagreement seems inevitable, do you have a “bring it on” attitude? Getting angry and escalating the conflict widens the divide instead of making room for peace and understanding.
All of these ways of dealing with conflict are forms of self-protection, and while common and understandable, they are barriers to peacemaking and building intimacy in relationships. Instead of dealing with conflict your own way, ask God, “What part do I need to own in this situation?”
This humble heart of a peacemaker will completely change your attitude and set the stage for peace and reconciliation. God calls us to a higher standard, one of self-sacrifice and hard conversations. While being a peacemaker is not easy, God knows the rewards of deeper relationships and unity are worth the risk of your pride and vulnerability.
The Priority of Conflict
Okay, so you might think that sometimes conflict is unavoidable, but is it really necessary? Yes, not only is conflict necessary in life, but God also places great importance on the role of peacemakers in the Bible.
“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are on the way with him, lest your adversary deliver you to the judge, the judge hand you over to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Assuredly, I say to you, you will by no means get out of there till you have paid the last penny.”—Matthew 5:23-26
This is serious stuff. Let’s start with the first half. If you are bringing an offering to God and remember you have unresolved issues with someone, pause. God wants you to face the conflict head-on before giving your money! Your obedience and attempts at peacemaking are way more valuable to Him than your giving Him a gift.
God also wants to protect you. That’s what verses 25-26 are about. He knows that the longer reconciliation is delayed, the harder it will be and the more costly it will be. When we leave things unresolved, we can build a wall of bitterness and unforgiveness around our hearts. God wants to save you from that pain and bring you to a place of peace.
The heart of a peacemaker is one that desires reconciliation.
The Dangers of Avoiding Reconciliation
Are you going to justify why you can’t reconcile? There is a price to pay when you don’t try. Here are 5 things you choose when you avoid and choose not to reconcile God’s way:
- You choose to live angry (Ephesians 4:26-27).
- You choose to live bitter (Hebrews 12:14-15).
- You choose to live conflicted (Proverbs 16:28).
- You choose to live unforgiving (Matthew 6:14-15).
- You choose to live confusing (John 13:35-35).
God prioritizes working through conflict and creating peace because He loves us. He is not calling us to be peace-fakers and pretend things are okay when they aren’t or brush things under the rug. He isn’t calling us to be peace-breakers and have a desire to jump into conflict with fists flying. God is calling us to be peacemakers.
Wade in the muck, engage in hard conversations (sometimes tense, uncomfortable, conflict conversations), and do so with the heart of a peacemaker. Brave the battle because the depth of the relationship is worth the risk. Fight, not for yourself, but because your family, friend, husband, wife, brother, or sister, is worth fighting for. A peacemaker in conflict aims to reach the other side and find reconciliation, understanding, and unity.
Jesus: The Ultimate Peacemaker
When we look for examples of peacemakers in the Bible, there are many to choose from, but the ultimate example is our Savior, so let’s begin and end with Him.
You and I were born with a sinful nature, at enmity with God. We were born in conflict with God. But unlike the conflict we have here on earth between imperfect people with failures and flaws, the cause of our conflict with God is all one-sided. Each time we sin, we build a separation between ourselves and the One who made us.
But even so, He was the One who took the risk and worked a plan of reconciliation. He had no fault on His side, yet He was the One who humbled Himself to get on our level.
When Jesus died on the cross, what He was doing was paving the way for peace between us and God. When He rose from the dead, He proved death and sin no longer have a hold on us and reconciliation is possible. His sacrifice made it possible. God has every right to hold our sin against us. He has every right to see us get justice. But the heart of Jesus is the heart of the Peacemaker and He offers us peace, forgiveness, and reconciliation.
But the thing about peacemaking and reconciliation is that it takes two. That is why we have to choose to accept the forgiveness He is offering and walk reconciled in relationship with Him. You can’t force someone’s heart to be at peace with you, but you can do all that is within your power to bring that peace about (Romans 12:18). That is what our Savior did and that is what He calls us to do as well.
Peacemakers Are Children of God
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” – Matthew 5:9
Here we are, back at the beginning. We realized that of all the Beatitudes, peacemakers were the only ones blessed with an identity: sons (and daughters) of God. When we choose to follow God’s way and be at peace as much as is in our power, we are following the steps of our Father and it shows.
Live out the heart of a peacemaker. Choose a heart that is humble and owns your part, a heart that desires reconciliation, a heart that is after Jesus’ own. Choose the heart of a peacemaker and be blessed.
This blog was adapted from a sermon preached at Paradigm, Abundant Life’s young adult ministry. Join us on Tuesday nights at our Lee’s Summit campus, Crossroads campus, or online!