What do you think of when you think of forgiveness? Do you think of the incredible mercy that Christ has extended to you? Or do you feel a twinge of pain and regret because it feels impossible to forgive past hurts committed against you?
The truth is that forgiveness involves hurt. For forgiveness to be necessary, a wrong must have been committed, whether by you or against you.
What does God’s word say about forgiveness, and how can we learn from Jesus’ example to forgive even when it’s hard?
3 Types of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is involved in every relationship—with God and others. Without forgiveness, any relationship in your life cannot be healthy or long-lasting.
- Ask God for Forgiveness
Forgiveness starts with God. He is the One who has the most to forgive because every person who has ever existed (aside from Jesus) has sinned against Him in one way or another. Thankfully, He is perfect and offers us forgiveness freely! All we need to do is confess our sins to God and ask for forgiveness.
- “To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, though we have rebelled against Him.”—Daniel 9:9
We are born with a rebellious heart. Even without meaning to, we choose to sin and reject God in many ways. But the good news is that Jesus made a way for us to be reconciled to God through His sacrifice on the cross!
2. Extend Forgiveness to Others
Because God is full of mercy and forgiveness, He is the perfect model for us to know what forgiveness looks like. Once we have experienced true forgiveness from Him, we can begin to live out His example toward others.
- “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’ ”—Matthew 18:21-22
How often are we to forgive? The answer Jesus gave to Peter wasn’t meant to be an exact number. Rather, “seventy times seven” shows how our forgiveness to others should be multiplied. A heart that forgives should be full of mercy.
To be clear, forgiveness doesn’t equal trust. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we forget wrongs or neglect careful discernment. Sin is hurtful and destructive. That is true whether we are the ones that sin is being committed against or the ones sinning.
Extending forgiveness means letting go of the wrong and not letting it dampen our love toward the person who wronged us. We should always seek to forgive, even when an apology is never given. Sometimes, forgiveness means choosing to forgive someone continually for the same sin even though you never see repentance or change so that you can heal and move on.
3. Receive Forgiveness for Yourself
One of the hardest things to do is forgive yourself. Even after you’ve received forgiveness from God and have taken steps to make things right with those you have wronged, guilt and shame can still shadow your joy. However, God’s Word gives us hope of forgiveness.
- “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”—1 John 1:9
Shame is different than conviction. The way to combat guilt and shame from past sins is to remind ourselves of the truth of God’s word. The Bible calls our enemy, Satan, the accuser. He seeks to destroy any joy or freedom we’ve received through Christ by recalling past sins so that we live in shame.
The truth of 1 John 1:9 tells us that Jesus is faithful in forgiving and cleansing us from ALL unrighteousness. If we have confessed our sins to Him, He has made us clean! He no longer holds our transgressions against us, so neither should we. We can learn from our past mistakes and walk forward in the freedom that forgiveness in Christ has given us.
What Does Forgiveness Do for Believers?
Forgiveness is a gift given to believers through Christ. Jesus both emphasized the importance of forgiveness and provided it for us. As believers, being forgiven and forgiving others is essential to our walk with Christ.
- “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace.”—Ephesians 1:7
Forgiveness Brings Unity: Bitterness fills our hearts when we refuse to forgive others. If we are divided from our fellow believers due to unforgiveness, we cannot serve God effectively—with or without them. As believers, we are all part of Christ’s body. To honor Him individually and corporately, we must be unified through forgiveness.
- “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.”—Mark 11:25
Forgiveness Has Health Benefits: Believe it or not, forgiveness can have powerful health benefits! Medical studies and trials have observed that forgiveness is associated with lowered levels of depression and anxiety, reduced stress, and greater life satisfaction.
- “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.”—Psalm 32:1
God’s Word reveals that forgiveness is not optional. It is essential to our lives as believers. Even though forgiveness is hard, it is how we experience freedom and the abundant life Jesus promises us.
Forgiveness Equals Freedom
Jesus is the perfect example of forgiveness. While on earth, He was wrongly accused of evil, beaten and degraded, and sentenced to a brutal death. Still, He never once reviled those who sinned against Him. Even at the end of His life on earth, he asked His Father in heaven to forgive those wrongdoers who had nailed Him to the cross.
- “Then Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”—Luke 23:34a
Jesus’ sacrifice delivers us from sin and reconciles us to the Father. Because of this, we experience the freedom that forgiveness brings—freedom from sin, guilt, and shame. We are free now to extend this same forgiveness to others. Our relationships can be healed, and our hearts can be freed from grudges and bitterness. Even our bodies bear testament to this!
We can trust the Creator of the universe to have our best in mind when He instructs us to forgive. Forgiving others does both your body and soul so much good!
We are here to walk with you if you need help overcoming or processing the challenges of forgiving yourself or others. Find freedom and healing through our counsling and recovery ministries.